How to say 'sorry' and mean it

Admitting that you did or said something wrong, and then apologising lớn someone for it, can be nerve-racking và scary. Here are some tips that can make it a little easier.

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This can help if:

you need to apologise lớn someone you don’t know the best way khổng lồ express yourself in a difficult situation you find it hard to lớn get stuff off your chest.
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Why saying ‘sorry’ is hard

Everyone behaves badly sometimes, even good people. Unfortunately, when you’re faced with owning up lớn jerk-lượt thích behaviour, your brain has to work overtime khổng lồ convince you that you’re the one in the wrong. That’s not a pleasant experience.

Apologising is hard becthithptquocgia2016.comse we don’t want to lớn feel bad about ourselves. We try to lớn have sầu a positive image of ourselves, and our need to lớn protect that can make sincerely apologising quite hard.

Why owning up lớn our mistakes is important

Not being able to own up khổng lồ our mistakes và to lớn apologise sincerely lớn someone when we need to lớn can harm every area of our life, including in the workplace, the classroom và our relationships. It can also prevent us from growing và learning from our experiences.

Steps for saying you’re sorry

1. Before you vày anything, practise self-affirmation

It’s important to start by saying a few positive sầu words to yourself. This is known as ‘self-affirmation’ & has a positive impact on the way you see yourself. Self-affirmation has been shown lớn improve sầu self-confidence and self-esteem, while reducing bao tay và anxiety.

Reflect on your values and your great personal qualities – such as your talents and hobbies, your successes at work or at school, or the positive sầu ways you treat family members & friends. For example, you could say khổng lồ yourself something like: ‘I’m great at coming up with creative ideas,’ or ‘I’m kind towards everyone I meet.’

Using self-affirmation before offering someone an apology can actually help make your apology more genuine and sincere. By reminding yourself of your good qualities, you’re letting your guard down and showing yourself that ‘Hey, there are so many great things about you, one mistake doesn’t change anything.’

2. Spell out why you want lớn apologise

It might sound obvious, but the first part of an apology is khổng lồ clearly state what you have done before saying you’re sorry for it. It also shows the other person that you understand what you did wrong. It might be helpful to rehearse exactly what you’re going to say before you apologise.

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For example, you might say: ‘I snapped at you yesterday.’

3. Admit you were wrong

It’s important khổng lồ show the other person that you’re willing lớn take responsibility for your actions and to lớn admit that you were wrong.

For example, you might say: ‘It was wrong of me to talk to you the way I did.’

4. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings

A good apology includes showing you’re aware of how your actions have sầu impacted the other person. This tells them you understand why they feel hurt.

For example, you might say: ‘I understand you must have felt really upmix, angry và confused.’

5. Say you’re sorry

Show that you’re sincere with a plain ol’ ‘I’m sorry.’ Keep it simple, & don’t tack a ‘but…’ onto the over of that sentence.

6. Ask them to lớn forgive sầu you

Ask for forgiveness by saying: ‘I know it will take time, but I really hope we can still be friends,’ or ‘Is there anything I can vị lớn make this right?’ This lets the other person know that your relationship with them is really important khổng lồ you.

Show that you’re sorry

Showing, not just saying, that you regret what you have sầu done is an important part of apologising. If possible, think about how you can fix the problem và make things right. For example, if you lost or broke something that belonged khổng lồ someone else, you could help them replace it.

However, some things can’t be fixed, such as when you’ve said something hurtful lớn a friend. In this instance, the best thing lớn vị is to lớn make sure it doesn’t happen again, & to show by your actions that you’re sincerely sorry. If you’ve sầu realised that there’s a problem that you can work on, you could also mention this, khổng lồ show that you’re taking steps lớn make sure it doesn’t happen again.

For example, you might say: ‘I realise that I struggle with controlling my anger, and it’s not fair lớn other people when I snap at them. I’m trying to lớn be more aware of when this happens.’

It takes a lot of courage to lớn admit that you’ve sầu made a mistake và to apologise for it. It’ll be scary at first, but in the long run, learning how khổng lồ vày this sincerely can really improve sầu your relationships with the people around you. You’ve sầu got this.