Mental illness ruined everything. As soon as I got a little bit of confidence, my brain would defeat me in front of everybody toàn thân.

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Sometimes I’d randomly vomit. Other times I’d drink too much alcohol on the weekend khổng lồ cover up my anxiety. And any situation that involved the discussion of blood, needles or anything medical, caused the blood khổng lồ drain from my face & turn me inkhổng lồ Casper the unfriendly ghost.

So I thought about moving far away and staying with a relative until they passed away of old age, so I could inherit their house. Thankfully their pension couldn’t cover the living costs of the two of us. So it never happened.

Once I broke the psychological pattern of mental illness I thought I could vì anything. Then I fell inkhổng lồ the pattern of trying lớn achieve sầu success. Here’s what it looks lượt thích (hat tilt khổng lồ
SalesNotepad for the reminder).

Why Most Don’tSucceed

1. Theystart

They’re all excited. They can’t wait khổng lồ get home page và work on a new side hustle. It’s going to lớn be a dream. In six months they’ll quit their job.

How amazing. They have sầu fantasies about things they’re going khổng lồ buy & all the cool places they will travel to. So they tiông chồng off the first item on their to-vày list khổng lồ massive success. It’s not super hard. Overconfidence takes over.

They giggle lượt thích a schoolgirl.

2. They seeprogress

Once they get started they work hard at it. It’s lượt thích running a marathuôn. They feel powerful… unstoppable. Progress starts to show. A little money is made. Their mother pats them on the bachồng. “Well done my little treasure chest.”

3. They slowdown

The tiny results make them cocky. They become complacent. They think they’ve sầu worked hard for six months and deserve to lớn cruise from now on. The work they did not long ago starts khổng lồ slow right down.

Ten emails sent per day. Eight emails sent per day. Two emails sent per day. None. “I’ve worked hard enough. Everybody knows what I do. They’ll come lớn me, just you wait và see mister.”

4. They start comparing

Their results plateau. They don’t expect it. They start comparing their results lớn people in the same field.

“How’s he got so many followers?”

“Why does XYZ phầm mềm tư vấn her so much?”

“I deserve sầu more results. My work is better.”

Nighttime is when they compare. They sit there obsessed with everybody toàn thân else’s results. They forget about their own results. There’s a complete disconnection between the chất lượng of their work and the fact they’ve stopped working like they did baông chồng when they had results.

5. They thua trận motivation

As the results start khổng lồ plummet so does the motivation.

“What’s the point? I’m not even getting results anymore. Life is so unfair.”

To try & Cosplay for the terrible feelings they start lớn critique other people’s success. They post public takedowns on social truyền thông media. Then they fly completely off the rails và start throwing dirt at celebrities. If they can’t have success then notoàn thân can. It’s all a scam.

*Does Oprah you-get-a-car voice *

Gif Credit: New Daily

“You’re a scam! And you’re a scam! You’re all a scam!”

The rapid demise starts.

6. Gameover

At this point the game ends. Whatever they started now gets destroyed. They give sầu up altogether. It’s all too hard. What’s the point? They start lớn believe sầu they need to be ‘chosen.’

Victimhood takes over.

They sympathize with other victims. Their inner circle becomes victims. The victims host tea-parties at each other’s houses, where they cốt truyện war stories of the people they once compared themselves with. Venom spews effortlessly out of their mouth. Their mother is no longer proud. Just confused.

How to Reinvent the trò chơi khổng lồ Work in YourFavor

The pattern is easy to lớn write about. It’s one I lived for years. Not anymore. Here are the steps khổng lồ nuke the inevitable path to failure.

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Know the pattern byheart

Study the 6-part pattern above. Write it down. Put it somewhere you won’t forget it.

Notice when you’re at one of thesestages

Use self-awareness. Be honest with yourself when you recognize the signs from one of these six stages. Don’t get angry if you find you’re on the path to lớn throw everything away. Noticing when you bởi vì is the superpower.

Interrupt thepattern

Think of the pattern lượt thích an engine. Throw a spanner in the middle of the drive shaft until it grinds lớn a halternative text. Use reframes & what-ifs khổng lồ get new information. Question why it’s happening.

The quickest way lớn interrupt a pattern is to vày something different.

I found I used khổng lồ fall into predictable bad habits. I always reacted the same way every time I began lớn go backwards. Once I could identify what those bad habits looked lượt thích, I could try new ones.

For example, my go-to lớn drug of choice was to lớn complain. It soothed my soul. It made me feel awesome. Then I’d complain online in the comments section of Youtube. It made me feel powerful and special. Really, I was weak as a dog about khổng lồ die after 16 years on planet earth.

Notice the pattern. Chop the pattern’s head off.

Do something different. Anything.

Lower your expectations

Expectations are a b*tch. They make us bởi dumb stuff. They force us lớn become delusional about what success really looks like. We quickly become ungrateful or unsatisfied when our expectations are too high.

Tony Robbins says to lower your expectations to lớn increase your happiness. When you don’t expect so much, it’s easier to lớn be satisfied. Makes sense.

Motivation is knowing why you’re doingit

Fame & money are the worst reasons to work on a goal.

I figured out early on that I wanted to write so other people didn’t have to go through the war in their minds I went through. The thank you messages became the motivation. The mission became more important than some childish, selfish goal.

Make the goalsmaller

I’m guilty of this. Don’t make the goal so big. Big goals are scary và hard to lớn achieve. Big is stupid. Big is overwhelming.

Big goals = high chance you’ll give sầu up

If you find you’re stuông xã in a rut then make the goal smaller. Tiny goals create feelings of progress. Progress reinvigorates motivation. The future then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Make your ‘why’ attached to otherpeople

I run an online school and I can easily become a lazy bastard. So I’ve outsourced my motivation to lớn my students. If they fail then I fail. Even if I don’t feel lượt thích it, I must because I made a promise. And that promise is tied khổng lồ my reputation.

Once you thua thảm your reputation then what vì you have? Nothing. Now you’ve got không lấy phí motivation in unlimited amounts. You’re welcome